Take some time to cast your mind back to a time you found yourself in dispute with your partner, a friend, a work colleague or family member and truthfully and honestly assess how the situation unfolded. Do you feel you were reacting, or responding to the event at that time, and what emotions were evoked? Did you become defensive or aggressive, belligerent or antagonistic? Could you detect a physical change in your body alongside the emotional responses that were prevalent at that time?
The moment we are confronted with a situation that is not in keeping with our harmonious balance, the fight or flight response kicks in. This is certainly required in the event that we are in imminent danger, but how do we dial it down during times of a basic disagreement? And how do we avoid that physical reaction that our body undergoes whenever our ego is bruised? See if you can notice how your ego automatically defaults to the negative in response to any event it deems unfavourable, regardless of whether or not that is the case. We make judgements which in turn create a positive or negative viewpoint, and our problems begin.
A positive ego is a necessity if we wish to push ourselves to high achievement in life, it helps to drive us physically and emotionally to go beyond, to reach our personal best. Keep that positive ego handy for those times you require a little push. On the other hand, the negative ego really is your enemy, serving you no good but delivering immense pain and hardship.
The next time you find yourself in disagreement, make the effort to observe whether you are responding (which is where you want to be), or reacting and judging. If you can hold a neutral stance, you remove the emotion from the situation. Sure, your ego will be screaming at you to stand up for yourself, but politely decline those demands and feel the physical and emotional difference when you do. When we realise that a bunch of unsavory words are just unsavory words, and nothing more, unless we initiate our negative ego, we reach an amazing place in life. A place of peace, harmony and of understanding who we really are and how we are truly meant to live. It takes time and constant practice, but give it a try, you won’t regret it.
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